Aired 25 August 2026 · written 20 August, when Dana White was 22%
The board on 20 August 2026, the day the script was written. A price is the market’s odds of that outcome.
| Dana White | 22% | |
| Sylvester Stallone | 18% | |
| Kid Rock | 12% | |
| Dan Scavino | 11% | |
| Sean Hannity | 10% | |
| Bill Belichick | 10% | |
| Elon Musk | 10% | |
| Reid Wiseman | 9% |
This market exists because Trump hands these medals out like party favors, announcing them off-the-cuff at events — and 2026 has already proven the board can't keep up: Roger Penske got one on January 30, Ben Carson was announced at a Black History Month event February 18, and Trump used the State of the Union to promise one to Olympic hockey goalie Connor Hellebuyck — none of whom were listed here. That's the comedy engine: eight named contenders, all under 25%, while the actual medals keep going to walk-ons.
Dana White leads because he just delivered Trump's dream party — UFC Freedom 250 on the White House South Lawn, which doubled as the president's 80th birthday — and a thank-you medal writes itself. Belichick is the unfinished-business play: his 2021 medal was reported but never officially awarded (he declined post-January 6). Wiseman's case: he commanded Artemis II, the first crewed Moon mission since Apollo 17 — but Trump honored the hockey guy instead, and NASA glory means sharing credit with three crewmates. Stallone, Kid Rock, Hannity, Scavino are pure loyalty lottery tickets: plausible any random Tuesday, predictable never.


Daily price. The dotted line is the day the episode was written — the odds Sal and Eddie were looking at. The solid line is the day it aired.
Biggest move since: Lee Greenwood, up from 8% on the day the episode was written to 16% today.